Once I was a Woman

On this episode of the podcast, we talk about a pup/furry party that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert may or may not have been at. Louie recently suggested that gay marriage in Talmud-times caused Noah's flood -- sure, why the hell not. Also, an Ernie/Bert gay marriage cake has caused quite a stir in Ireland, and Judge Roy Moore is refusing to remove his annoying grandfather clock from the office he's been ordered to vacate. And we argue about erotic clowns.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Ira Glass Tries to Remember the Name of a Song

On this week's Defining Marriage, we are treated to an extended cut of me trying to remember the name of ... oh dear, I've forgotten her name again. Also, let's talk about that rumor that Hillary secretly opposes gay marriage (spoiler: she does not). And Roy Moore, please turn in your keys, thank you.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Camel's Nose

On this week's episode: Ben Carson threatened further mass killings if gay marriage is allowed to continue, and we are menaced by ghost pumpkins. We also discuss our family crests, camel noses, and Cher is very worried about this election, but also might want to watch out for ghosts. But not pumpkin ghosts. Those are different.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Nevada Tim Strikes Again

On this week's episode, we celebrate the legalization of same-sex-cow marriage (or something like that) in the British isles. There's been a lot of nonsense about marriage this week, and this time it's not all coming from me and James: the Archbishop of Mexico says Christians are being persecuted; a judge in Kentucky says gays stole the rainbow from his tiny dog; and an Australian man does not believe in anal sex. Well, believe it or not, it's happening.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Family Thermos

On this week's Defining Marriage podcast: The Grande Reveal! I have received a mysterious series of packages and a strange object du art. What could it possibly mean? And is it related to my dream of appearing in Hamilton, the Broadway show about the life of Margaret Hamilton?

On the marriage front, The Catholic Church has laughed derisively at the idea that they might change their minds about anything at all. Donald Trump has hinted that he might do something unreasonable (can you imagine). Australia is "free to tell porkies" about homosexuals. And we discuss the proper wording of wedding vows: "you may attach the ring" is not a romantic turn of phrase.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Southington Peeper

On this week's episode, we shout nonsense at each other from across a continent: I am in Connecticut while James is in Seattle, which means I can regale him from a distance with tales of NOM's ridiculous fundraising scheme, mysterious packages, and werewolves. Then he threatens to drive a bus with his butt and it's like we're in the same room.

Francis the Talking Mule

This week's episode is an equine free-for-all, with some horsing around over NOM's ongoing fundraising problems. While they continue to bleed money, Brian Brown is making a ruckus about the Obama administration's "demands," which apparently include "transgenderism." Meanwhile, a Reverend Canon has declared that gay priests are pagans, which frankly sounds like a lot of fun.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

A Horse in a Bikini

On this week's strange episode of Defining Marriage, we respond to listener feedback regarding horses in itsy bitsy teeny weeny outfits. The parade of animals continues with Oscar Wilde quotes about women and chickens; and then we travel to Kentucky for an oddly homophobic ham breakfast.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

A Flight of Fancy Feast

On last week's episode, we all had a good laugh about how NOM called their own fundraising "pathetic." But this week they sent out yet another money-beg, this time reminding supporters that they need some cold hard cash in order to protect the nation's bathrooms. And that's why from now on we'll call them the National Association for Marriage, Bathrooms, Liberty, and All (NOMBLA).

Also this week, we debate whether marriage is a "Fact or Fancy," as one essayist put it in the 1950s, and also offer our thanks to the Australian legislator who said that gays shouldn't get married because Dolce and Gabbana are still single. Yup.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Honeymoon on the Moon, Honey

On this week's episode, we have new details on the Joe Biden-officiated gay wedding, including wild speculation over whether the Vice President invoked his right of prima nocta and bedded one or both of the men afterwards. We also have some dirty songs, and Roy Moore's Hexagonal Honeyhole. It's all very tasteful.

And: did you get the latest fundraising email from the National Organization for Marriage (And Bathrooms)? They called their own donors "pathetic" for not giving more money, so that's probably the most accurate thing they've ever said.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Stinky Manfolds

Liberace's seahorse

Who would be in your dream-remake of the movie Splash? For me, it would be Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi from Throwing Shade, and the title would be Splash 2: Serving Fishy Realness. Mermaids are the soup du jour on Bermuda, where the anti-gay-marriage forces are desperate for a compromise, now that it seems likely that they'll lose their attempt to hold back the weddings. The Isle of Man just got its first wedding, no thanks to a man who may or may not have had the head of a fish and the tail of a fish.

By the way -- on this week's episode, we note that there are very few (if any) famous black mermaids. But you can find a lot of lovely art here: http://mermaidsofcolor.tumblr.com/

Bleh

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Moist Encumberance

Okay, I admit it: gay marriage is all secretly a plot to legalize bear-chicken marriage, as predicted by the TV show Arthur. Also on this week's episode: Utah's marriage equality plaintiffs got to march in a Mormon parade by exploiting a rule that was designed to keep them out. A candidate for the Supreme Court in Mississippi says that gay marriage makes America a "slave nation," and I guess he would know. Also, Australia has appointed a shadow minister for equality -- spooky!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Why Don't You Fall in a Pigsty

This week we take a little side-grouse to talk about Stranger Things (we don't like it), and Ben Carson (he says gay marriage is evil), and Kansas (still not fully doing gay marriage). We also tackle the mystery of the mysterious ghosts whispering in the ears of little Mexican girls and selling cockles in Sherwood Forest. Plus! I cannot for the life of me name a Glenn Close movie. How could I have forgotten 101 Dalmations?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Andrea Loathsome

I'm back from LA and ready to catch some gay Pokemans! This week on the podcast, we talk about laptop-marriage, Virginia's latest redefinition of marriage (to exclude child brides), and a new study claiming that gay parents make fat kids. Also, it's weird enough that support for marriage equality is climbing in Utah, but it's even weirder that it's climbing extra-fast among Mormons.

Plus: I have another minor stroke trying to remember a celebrity's name. Camemberta? Harriet Hole in the Mozone? Maureen Slithering? Gary Anda? Chester Hope? Moldy Coldfish? Zoltan Mola Nosecare? Lola Crampstink? Nicole Cankles?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Baby's Friend

Happy America Birthday! I'm visiting LA this week and James is back in Seattle, so instead of him we have some extra special guests. I'm joined by Bryan, Liz, and a different Matt to talk about the Australian plebiscite, Robbie Kaplan's Mississippi victory, baby-friends, and sneaking onto ChristanMingle.com to gay-mingle with Christians. And we make a startling discovery on a birth certificate!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Plebiscite Didgeridoodling Swank

On this week's episode of the Defining Marriage podcast: What if the National Organization for Marriage held a march and nobody noticed? That's what happened this weekend, with poor NOM spending tens of thousands of dollars for a rally that attracted only a few dozen people. Ah well. You know whose fault that must be: Satan's! At least, that's according to anti-gay lawyer Matt Staver, who calls marriage equality "a lie from the pit of hell." Okay buddy. In other news this week: Donald Trump revealed his wildly anti-gay advisory board (ugh) and I am unable to remember the name of the star of The Devil Wears Prada. The Great Deceiver strikes again!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

People Love Boobs

Gay marriage is coming to the game Harvest Moon -- eventually, probably -- but is this maybe opening the door to some problematic implementations? James, who knows a thing or two about designing a video game, offers his analysis, and also offers a truly appalling Australian accent. We also summon the spirits of the 90s with Sound Garden, not to be confused with Savage Garden and the Spoonman.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Weezing the Knees

Oh, what now? Roy Moore says he needs a little more time to respond to ethics questions, as if two extra weeks is going to make some kind of difference. In the mean time, real judges like Callie Granade will be issuing rulings like "uh, no, gay marriage is definitely a thing."

Meanwhile in Australia, we do not have anything to say about plebiscites this week! Instead, we'll talk about Queer Beer. (No word on whether it makes you gay, but let's assume.) Also there's a happy ending to a marriage that the government finally stopped claiming isn't real, 45 years later.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Rim Shots from Gabe Kaplan

Oops, we missed a week! As you NO DOUBT noticed, last week's episode does not exist, in part due to our travels to Chicago. But we're back now from the debauchery of IML, and we're hot on the trail of the latest in gay marriage news. My favorite headline this week is that there's a group trying to get some buzz around Roy Moore for the Supreme Court... and what a coincidence, that group just happens to have been founded by Roy Moore. (But he's not the president! His wife is.) Also this week we reflect on one of the strangest episodes of Murder She Wrote ever committed to film, featuring Gabe Kaplan and a drag show and a gay bar and (in our minds) a disgusting sex act with a fish.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

A Sloppy Whisper

On this week's episode, we're sloppily whispering to each other about how Nebraska still won't allow two moms to appear on birth certificates -- instead, one of the moms has to be listed as "friend." Unclear what sort of legal obligation "friends" have to babies. Also, James browbeats Australia over some nonsense-talk about whether kids are harmed by same-sex parents. We have news about Ireland, relating first to marriage and then to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; and after learning that Scotland is changing the rules for priests who want to get married, James tortures me with questions about Braveheart.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/