Honeymoon on the Moon, Honey

On this week's episode, we have new details on the Joe Biden-officiated gay wedding, including wild speculation over whether the Vice President invoked his right of prima nocta and bedded one or both of the men afterwards. We also have some dirty songs, and Roy Moore's Hexagonal Honeyhole. It's all very tasteful.

And: did you get the latest fundraising email from the National Organization for Marriage (And Bathrooms)? They called their own donors "pathetic" for not giving more money, so that's probably the most accurate thing they've ever said.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Stinky Manfolds

Liberace's seahorse

Who would be in your dream-remake of the movie Splash? For me, it would be Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi from Throwing Shade, and the title would be Splash 2: Serving Fishy Realness. Mermaids are the soup du jour on Bermuda, where the anti-gay-marriage forces are desperate for a compromise, now that it seems likely that they'll lose their attempt to hold back the weddings. The Isle of Man just got its first wedding, no thanks to a man who may or may not have had the head of a fish and the tail of a fish.

By the way -- on this week's episode, we note that there are very few (if any) famous black mermaids. But you can find a lot of lovely art here: http://mermaidsofcolor.tumblr.com/

Bleh

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Moist Encumberance

Okay, I admit it: gay marriage is all secretly a plot to legalize bear-chicken marriage, as predicted by the TV show Arthur. Also on this week's episode: Utah's marriage equality plaintiffs got to march in a Mormon parade by exploiting a rule that was designed to keep them out. A candidate for the Supreme Court in Mississippi says that gay marriage makes America a "slave nation," and I guess he would know. Also, Australia has appointed a shadow minister for equality -- spooky!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Why Don't You Fall in a Pigsty

This week we take a little side-grouse to talk about Stranger Things (we don't like it), and Ben Carson (he says gay marriage is evil), and Kansas (still not fully doing gay marriage). We also tackle the mystery of the mysterious ghosts whispering in the ears of little Mexican girls and selling cockles in Sherwood Forest. Plus! I cannot for the life of me name a Glenn Close movie. How could I have forgotten 101 Dalmations?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Andrea Loathsome

I'm back from LA and ready to catch some gay Pokemans! This week on the podcast, we talk about laptop-marriage, Virginia's latest redefinition of marriage (to exclude child brides), and a new study claiming that gay parents make fat kids. Also, it's weird enough that support for marriage equality is climbing in Utah, but it's even weirder that it's climbing extra-fast among Mormons.

Plus: I have another minor stroke trying to remember a celebrity's name. Camemberta? Harriet Hole in the Mozone? Maureen Slithering? Gary Anda? Chester Hope? Moldy Coldfish? Zoltan Mola Nosecare? Lola Crampstink? Nicole Cankles?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Baby's Friend

Happy America Birthday! I'm visiting LA this week and James is back in Seattle, so instead of him we have some extra special guests. I'm joined by Bryan, Liz, and a different Matt to talk about the Australian plebiscite, Robbie Kaplan's Mississippi victory, baby-friends, and sneaking onto ChristanMingle.com to gay-mingle with Christians. And we make a startling discovery on a birth certificate!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Plebiscite Didgeridoodling Swank

On this week's episode of the Defining Marriage podcast: What if the National Organization for Marriage held a march and nobody noticed? That's what happened this weekend, with poor NOM spending tens of thousands of dollars for a rally that attracted only a few dozen people. Ah well. You know whose fault that must be: Satan's! At least, that's according to anti-gay lawyer Matt Staver, who calls marriage equality "a lie from the pit of hell." Okay buddy. In other news this week: Donald Trump revealed his wildly anti-gay advisory board (ugh) and I am unable to remember the name of the star of The Devil Wears Prada. The Great Deceiver strikes again!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

People Love Boobs

Gay marriage is coming to the game Harvest Moon -- eventually, probably -- but is this maybe opening the door to some problematic implementations? James, who knows a thing or two about designing a video game, offers his analysis, and also offers a truly appalling Australian accent. We also summon the spirits of the 90s with Sound Garden, not to be confused with Savage Garden and the Spoonman.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Weezing the Knees

Oh, what now? Roy Moore says he needs a little more time to respond to ethics questions, as if two extra weeks is going to make some kind of difference. In the mean time, real judges like Callie Granade will be issuing rulings like "uh, no, gay marriage is definitely a thing."

Meanwhile in Australia, we do not have anything to say about plebiscites this week! Instead, we'll talk about Queer Beer. (No word on whether it makes you gay, but let's assume.) Also there's a happy ending to a marriage that the government finally stopped claiming isn't real, 45 years later.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Rim Shots from Gabe Kaplan

Oops, we missed a week! As you NO DOUBT noticed, last week's episode does not exist, in part due to our travels to Chicago. But we're back now from the debauchery of IML, and we're hot on the trail of the latest in gay marriage news. My favorite headline this week is that there's a group trying to get some buzz around Roy Moore for the Supreme Court... and what a coincidence, that group just happens to have been founded by Roy Moore. (But he's not the president! His wife is.) Also this week we reflect on one of the strangest episodes of Murder She Wrote ever committed to film, featuring Gabe Kaplan and a drag show and a gay bar and (in our minds) a disgusting sex act with a fish.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

A Sloppy Whisper

On this week's episode, we're sloppily whispering to each other about how Nebraska still won't allow two moms to appear on birth certificates -- instead, one of the moms has to be listed as "friend." Unclear what sort of legal obligation "friends" have to babies. Also, James browbeats Australia over some nonsense-talk about whether kids are harmed by same-sex parents. We have news about Ireland, relating first to marriage and then to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; and after learning that Scotland is changing the rules for priests who want to get married, James tortures me with questions about Braveheart.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Banana Banner Boys

You're in for a real fun-fair of nonsense this week, with a haunting melange of bananas and the Alabama Supreme Court. We have more details on what's going to happen to Judge Roy Moore, now that Ambrosia Starling is holding his feet to the fire. And we also have created a musical version of The Crucible called Goody Goody Goody. Meanwhile, Italy is getting civil unions, so that's a good first step; and Australia is plebisciting along despite some religious group afraid that marriage equality means an end to Mother's Day. We're also on the hunt for the recipe for ambrosia salad, and for Barbra Streisand.

Two videos related to this week's discussion:

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

#VacationOfConsulGeneral

Congratulations to Hanscom Smith, a senior US diplomat in Shanghai who just married his husband in a delightful ceremony. And what better wedding gift can they have hoped for than the removal of Judge Roy Moore, the homophobic Supreme Court justice from Alabama who was just suspended from his job for his resistance to marriage equality. Ha.

We also discuss the bizarre targeting of Target for their bathroom policy -- where exactly is the Bible passage about keeping restrooms separate? And then there's Australia's plebiscite, a disgusting word that I can barely bring myself to say. Apparently I also cannot bring myself to say our safe word, because it's been so long since we agreed on one that James forgot we even had one.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

International Amour, More Ray Moore, and More

Congrats to the islands moving towards marriage equality! We have good news this week from the Bahamas, The Faroe Islands, and the seductively-named Isle of Man. And also from Colombia, which is not an island, except that it is ideologically a bit of an island in that it is one of the few South American countries where same-sex couples can now get married. Hooray.

Also this week: James has been playing his creepy Dark Souls III game, which means lots of bonus ghost noises on the episode. And the National Organization for Marriage is practically a ghost these days, since they've nearly run out of money. They say it's because they've been so "successful," hahaha, and that they need a cash injection to pay for a scheme to send 100,000 faxes to Congress. Oh brother.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Animals Strike Curious Poses

This week's episode concerns in ineffable mysteries of Prince and his opinion on gay marriage. Was he for it or against it or what? Perhaps not even he knew for sure, but we'll do our best ot unravel what clues he left behind. Also, did you hear the one about the guy who wants to marry the computer that got him addicted to pornography? He's a Christian EDM producer, by the way. Oh, musicians, I don't think I'll ever understand you. Nor will I ever fully understand James' grandmother, who seems to have somehow inspired a toothy sight gag on the new season of Kimmy Schmidt.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Queen Latifah Wipe

Hello, Texans! This week's episode is all about you. And also us, in that we are about to visit you -- James and I are coming to HavenCon in Austin to present a panel on Saturday, April 23rd, at noon, called "Queer Gamers Coast to Coast." And what perfect timing, because a Texas court has just ruled that allowing two lovely lesbian women to marry does not constitute, as the state claimed, "legal chaos."

Elsewhere in the world, Norway's Lutheran Church has voted to allow same-sex marriage, which is good news for Rose Nylund's queer family members. And conservative marriage otter Ryan Anderson believes that gay people will stop wanting to get married if he just invites them to enough Thanksgivings.  

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Pope and a Pig in a Poke

This week on the podcast, James and I talk about the pope's recent declaration that same-sex couples reeeeeeeally shouldn't be allowed to marry. James knows a thing or two about this pope business, and explains exactly how the church justifies some of its wacky rules about who gets special treatment and also the strange terrifying alternate universe where all the unbaptised babies go. We also address a Puerto Rico judge's ruling that the US Constitution doesn't apply to them; and the subsequent appellate ruling that yes of course it does, don't be ridiculous.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Young Men Foaming for Gay Marriage in the Florida Heat

On this week's episode of the Defining Marriage podcast: Spring has sprung, when a young man's heart turns to fancy. Who's the young man, and what's so fancy about him? These and other mysteries remain unsolved on this week's episode, but we do talk about Florida's achievement of finally legalizing gay marriage, nearly a year after the Supreme Court already did it for them.

Also, various state governors are vetoing religious-freedom bills that cloak anti-queer animus, but those vetoes might not save us.

And once again, James tortures me with a name that I can't remember. We also quote Meatloaf, and whoever wrote the Bumblebee Tuna song. What a shame those two musical icons never teamed up.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Georgia On Our Minds

You've no doubt heard about North Carolina's unpleasant dabbling with anti-gay and anti-trans laws. On this week's episode, we're talking about the implications, as well as the traditional method of celebrating Easter: with a delicious Easter sundae. Also, did you know Mississippi has a robot that does the filibustering for you? What marvels we enjoy in this modern world!

Also, here's a little video I made about trans bathroom panic and why it's a bunch of nonsense:

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

President Chicken

We've traveled to San Francisco this week, and our SF friends Andy and Long join us to talk about what Obama's nomination of Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court would mean for LGBT folks. Is there a chance that Obama's nominee could actually make it onto the court, and what sort of queer cases could he hear? We make some wild guesses, and also talk about a gay pirate broadcaster that we've tastefully decided should be called Butt Pirate Radio. Further digressions involve the time Sandra Day O'Connor played against a boy's volleyball team, and a chicken that would be president. Also, who would be a better president: Donald Trump or PewDiePie?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Photo:
Lip Kee Yap from Singapore, Republic of Singapore - Red Junglefowl (Gallus gallus) male 2