Storebought Ham

It's a Christmas miracle! Defining Marriage is back, baby. And also finished. But James and Matthew aren't leaving you -- this is the start of something new and exciting and hopefully far less inappropriate. Join us for one last bumble, a round of what's-her-name, and a tease for where you can find us in the new year on our new upcoming podcast, Cozy Pants.

Do You Want to See My Foot

Oh my stars and garters, we're back -- improbably enough, by popular demand. After a bit of a hiatus for creative re-tooling, Defining Marriage has been resurrected so you may once again revel in topics such as Jeff Goldblum's feet, a robotic Carol Channing, and a torrid giraffe love triangle. Oh and also some marriage news too. 

Practice Man Full of Meat

On this week's episode of the Defining Marriage podcast, we dissect the new Star War, and get blown to Bermuda for some worrisome news about marriage going away. Roy Moore refused to go away, and same-sex couples are happier than heterosexuals -- surprise! All that, plus it becomes clear to James that the furpublic no longer functions.

I Endorse Doug Funny

We're back for more nonsense! This week we're urging you to check out our Dungeons and Drag Queens show at DungeonDrag.com, and also celebrating the misery of Australian homophobes, hooray. James is in Twitch jail for a day, and the Cheeseman can finally wed. All that plus some misinformation about Ren and Stimpy! How timely.

The Greatest Adventure

We're back with a rollicking romp of forgotten names and irritating officials! I can't remember the name of another celebrity, and even when I remember I still forget. Vatican officials have some thoughts about Roy Moore, and someone just donated a wig to Alabama. Don't every try to use it at the same time. Also, watch us get even sillier on a livestream on November 4! Details at http://bit.ly/extralifeseattle

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Floor Whisperer

This week, we celebrate the arrival of Halloween with inappropriate sound effects and the strange story of where pumpkin goo actually comes from. There's some rotten news from Alabama, where Roy Moore is preparing to make Congress even crazier -- did you know he is the world's worst poet? And also some good news from Germany, land of the free.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

 

Don't Deny Your Chum a Bum

On this week's podcast, James and I argue about ownership of a joke that wasn't even funny, sigh about the ridiculous marriage ads in Australia claiming that gay marriage will abolish Christmas, and sing some folk music. We also dive into Scrumpty Western music and plump up some donut holes.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Steel Beefalo of the Nightmare World

We're back, baby, with a brand new Defining Marriage and some fresh nonsense from James. Australia is launching into the plebiscite, kind of, and it's triggered some truly terrible TV ads. The Drag Queens have journeyed into a Dungeon, Malta gets gay marriage this week, and Bermuda is being menaced by a man named Wayne Furbert.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Aftertaste of Tomorrow

A chilly hello from Reykjavik, city of the future! I'm recording from a drizzly city square this week, preparing to reunite with James at the end of my long strange journey through deepest Europe. We have some news about Baldur's Gate and a bald man's pate, as well as the decline of American civilization -- which, let's be honest, was never much of a prize pig. Also in the news is a hasty conclusion (we hope) to the marriage fight in Australia, and Captain Planet's brave stance against the forces of hate.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Newly Dead Game

What a tangled web of nonsense we weave this week! I'm loitering about London before heading off to Iceland, while James swelters in the Seattle summer. Haiti has banned marriage equality, while a weird official in South Carolina is doing his best to stop queers from having domestic violence protection. Oh brother. And on top of everything, I can't tell the difference between Slash and Dr. Teeth from the Muppets.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

A Damp Swaddle in the Swath of Night

We have a special guest this week! Ulli Köppe went to see German Chancellor Angela Merkel speak on a panel a few weeks ago, and on the spur of the moment asked her during the Q&A when he'd be able to marry his boyfriend. To everyone's surprise -- especially Ulli's -- she answered that a vote on marriage equality would happen right away. And then it did. And then marriage was legalized. Just like that, Ulli found himself having changed the lives of millions of queer Germans for the better. We chat about that experience, the moment he realized just what he'd done, and what his plans for marriage are now.

And then we get into the silly business as usual: James and I joke around about my time in Europe, about Thor, and about Eartha Kitt. The marriage news of the week is a bit dire: a terribly anti-gay judge just got confirmed for life, a guy who objected to the children of same-sex parents being able to get passports. Ugh. Also, my nipples are briefly mentioned on this week's episode, so you're welcome, world. 

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Mummy Overalls

This week on Defining Marriage, we've reached goat marriage at last: I've journeyed to a farm and met some animals and ate their cheese, and if that's not marriage what is? Elizabeth Warren wants to issue a tax refund to all the gay couples who had to pay extra taxes for years, but is this reallllllly a good idea?

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Devil's Bicycle

On this week's Defining Marriage, we take a stroll through a dinosaur palace, and a trip down memory lane on a scooter from the 1980s that is a bicycle seat with wheels. We have tidbits of marriage from Europe and hot gossip about Kim Davis -- can you believe her name is still coming up?

 

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Porky the Pumpkin

We're back! On this week's episode of the Defining Marriage podcast, we pick right back up with a rousing game of What's His Name, and I probe the depths of the animal kingdom for Bruce something, you know, the football guy. James has been having cuddle dreams, and Germany has been sobbing quietly and winning the freedom to marry. Plus: the latest from the sewers of Paris, the actual sewers, not the podcast.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Salami Tactics Advance

This week I'm reporting from Amsterdam ... that Amsterdam is very pretty. We have a salami marriage in Switzerland, James designs video games about Grace Jones, and it's the 50th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia. Congratulations to everyone!

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Copin' with Copenhagen

It's an inter-continental edition of the Defining Marriage podcast this week, with James back in Seattle and me sailing off to Europe for the summer. I share a harrowing tale of bicycles and fish, and we take a breath of relief that it's been a slow week for marriage news (aside from that whole thing about the United Kingdom getting a whole new government). Plus: pig scrying.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

These Have Always Brought me Luck

I'm back from Chicago, and this week's episode is a brief interlude before my rainbow tour to Europe. We talk to riding a train to a pup romp, how I nearly became a go-go dancer without realizing it, and about Chile's gay-marriage train. 

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

You Look Just Like the Commish

I'm on the road again, recording this week's Defining Marriage podcast with Jim and Michaela in Chicago while I visit for IML. In marriage news, we have a huge victory in Taiwan; and in other news, Michaela was once convinced that The Commish was her father.

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Max the Hedgehog in the Dracula Parade

On this week's episode of Defining Marriage: we investigate some original sins, from pancakes to grandmas. The Church of Scotland is going to decide whether to honor same-sex marriages, and James makes a heavily-accented guess about how that will go. We have the latest news about Carly Rae Jansport and Australia's impatient patients.

 

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Chimp, the Chump, and the Chomp

On this week's podcast, there's a plausible size difference (and a few implausible ones), as well as more cake quibbles. A cat and a dog have gotten married for reasons that are not entirely clear, and James has a new drag character based on another drag character that does not actually exist. All that, plus a bearracuda, a giant finger, and that famous aphorism, "when you're on a love boat, anything goes."

Music:

In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/