Chapter 2: To be Let in, not Just Left Alone

It was the mid-1970s in Seattle when a twenty-something radical named Faygele Ben Miriam dragged his boyfriend Paul to a King County office to demand a marriage license. They never managed to get one, but if they'd walked into the office of Boulder county clerk Clela Rorex, she'd have defiantly handed one to them on the spot.

These pioneers were the first vanguard of a new post-Stonewall marriage equality movement, and the overwhelming consensus was that they were nuts. Marriage for homosexuals was too ludicrous an idea to take seriously, and those few activists who spoke out for the cause were shunned and ridiculed.

Decades later, the auditor who rejected Faygele Ben Miriam’s license later became one of the state’s leading voices for marriage equality (on behalf of his lesbian daughter). Clela Rorex’s successor, forty years later, led the charge for equality across all of Colorado.

Everyone thought that early vanguard was crazy. It turns out they were visionaries.

Here are some of the clips discussed on the podcast of the 1971 New York marriage counter zap:

The Gay Activist Alliance decided to occupy NYC's Marriage License Bureau, June 4,1971, after the City Clerk threatened to arrest the minister of a local gay church for performing "Services of Holy Union" which the City Clerk said were the equivalent of gay marriage.

IN 1971, HERMAN KATZ, CITY CLERK OF NYC, THREATENED LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THE "CHURCH OF THE BELOVED DESCIPLE" FOR PERFORMING "CEREMONIES OF HOLY UNION" FOR GAY COUPLES. The Gay Activist Alliance decided to take over the NYC Marriage Bureau & throw an engagement party for two male couples.

IN 1971, HERMAN KATZ, CITY CLERK OF NYC, THREATENED LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THE "CHURCH OF THE BELOVED DESCIPLE" FOR PERFORMING "CEREMONIES OF HOLY UNION" FOR GAY COUPLES. The Gay Activist Alliance decided to take over the wedding bureau and throw and engagement party for two male couples.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Chapter 1: Imperfect Man

It’s March of 2013, and there’s a battle playing out at the Supreme Court, both inside and out. On the steps of the courthouse, protestors wave competing signs; inside, the justices grill attorneys on who gets to decide the meaning of marriage. It’s a gulf that for years has divided the whole country: marriage for same sex-couples versus preserving of the status quo. Some protestors say that God defines marriage. Others say that it’s defined by the state. Most couples just want to say “we’re married” and be done with it. So who gets to choose?

To answer that question, I’ve journeyed to Washington to witness the protests and to watch the Justices deliberate. I explore the personal stake of the activists and attorneys before the court, and delve into artifacts from long-gone same-sex couples who, in decades past, somehow found a way to define their relationships on their own terms. 

I come away with more questions than answers. It’s just the beginning of a saga that will take me back in time and around the country, and force me to confront own conflicted relationship with marriage and with my own partner.

As mentioned in this week's chat at the end of the chapter, here's my video about the Equality Act, as well as Stuart and John talking about why marriage matters.

There's a Big Gay Loophole in the Civil Rights Act that doesn't cover LGBTs. The proposed Equality Act would patch it up, but of course, opponents of equality are making up all kinds of crazy claims about why the Big Gay Loophole should stay open forever.

Stuart's parents were an interracial couple, back when most states refused to allow interracial couples to get married. California led the way by recognizing his parents' wedding; and now, another generation of his family needs their neighbors' support. Please, California, do the right thing for all your gay and lesbian friends and family.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Defining Marriage Introduction

Hello friends, and thanks for subscribing to the Defining Marriage podcast. You'll get one complete and unabridged chapter every week of my book, Defining Marriage: Voices from a Forty-Year Labor of Love. 

This show, like the book, traces the decades-long evolution of marriage through the personal stories of those who lived through it. We'll take an intimate glimpse into the private lives of those who dreamed of marriage in the 1970s, the survivors of the 1980s, the audacious pioneers of the 1990s, the tireless soldiers of the 2000s, and the champions who won marriage today. Defining Marriage is the story of how people from all walks of life fought to change marriage -- and how fighting for marriage, in turn, changed them.

If you're the impatient type and you'd like to read the whole thing all at once, you can download a digital version over on Amazon. It's available for free during its first week in the store, July 13th to 17th, and just $9.99 after that.

This podcast audiobook version will always be free, and if you find it worthwhile, all I ask is that you give it a rating and review on the iTunes store -- that feedback makes a huge difference, and I read it all. 

Since this is the first episode, I'm going to start things off at the beginning, with the book's introduction. It's a little shorter than the rest of the chapters, but stick around afterwards for a little post-chapter discussion with me and a special guest.

Music:
In Your Arms Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/